Robot Step-Mom

When I was a little girl, there was a time I believed that when I was a grown up I would wear pretty dresses and cook dinner for my husband and children in high heels with a fancy apron on. I kind of wanted to be like a Stepford Wife, long before I really understood what that meant. They were beautiful. Thin. Perky. Perfect. Always smiling, always working, never complaining. I must have overlooked that small little detail that they were freakish ROBOTS without feelings! When it occurred to me that this was actually NOT what I wanted for myself at all, it never crossed my mind that years later I would find myself in a situation where I was expected to act like a happy, beautiful, productive robot.

Then I got married and became a step-mom.

And it hit me one day, that this was EXACTLY what I was expected to do. Society expected me to do this. My husband's parents expected me to do this. Certainly my husband's ex-wife expected me to do this. Even, at times, my own family and friends expected me to do this. Smile, look pretty, and work harder. And if I couldn't? Fake it. After all, it wasn't like I was becoming a real mom. What was the big deal? 

But the love I felt for my step-daughter felt real. My maternal instinct felt real. My new family felt real. And the laundry, dishes, and stress felt very real. So I started searching for other people in my situation, and I was shocked to find that not only were their feelings similar, they were exactly the same. It was as if others had watched these events unfolding outside my window and then wrote blogs about my life.

I haven’t been a step-mom long enough to be called a veteran, but I think I’ve at least made it through boot camp alive. This blog is for the rest of my journey.